Congratulations on the birth of your precious and unique baby.
At TinyLife we do our best to offer parents and families affected by premature birth, illness or disability in babies as much practical and emotional support as we can.
Bringing your new baby home from hospital can be a stressful and difficult time. However, it is also a time of joy and excitement. At TinyLife we always do our best to help families enjoy and celebrate the arrival of their new addition(s) and everything that comes with this!
This section offers some advice for those faced with the challenges of caring for a premature, ill or disabled baby on how to cope in those early stages and explains what to expect when you bring your baby home.
How and where can I get help?
Staff in the baby unit itself can be a wonderful source of support and will be happy to answer your questions. For additional help, TinyLife is there to provide a diverse range of support services to help you and your family in this new and daunting situation. For more information on TinyLife’s support services click here.
What are some of the common feelings of parents who have been in my situation?
It is perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed with the stress of the situation at times, and confused about your various emotions.
Some common reactions which parents experience include:
Guilt is often felt by parents of premature babies. It is important for you to talk to medical staff to find out if they know why your baby is premature or ill. In most cases, the reasons will be related to factors outside your control.
Fear is another common reaction. Many parents are afraid to talk about their anxieties, as they are concerned others will think they are not coping with the situation. Medical and nursing staff, as well as other parents who have had the same experience, can reassure you that such feelings are natural.
Shock - you may feel dazed or stunned, and that your mind is totally preoccupied with the problems surrounding the birth of your baby. At this stage, it is often difficult to retain information, so ensure you ask medical and nursing staff to clarify everything you wish to know.
Denial is another common response. You may find it hard to believe that this experience is actually happening to you. Be reassured however many parents have felt the same. As the days pass, and you spend more time with your baby, the situation will become more real to you.
Sadness can be the natural result of feeling that you have not achieved the dream of a healthy full-term baby. It is a normal reaction, but if it becomes excessive or persistent, consult the medical staff for advice. Remember however that everyone is different and you may need a longer or shorter period of time to come to terms with what has happened.
Anxiety is a common feeling for parents in this situation. It is distressing to say the least to watch your new baby fight for life and often feel helpless to do anything for him or her.
Many parents have said that they felt extraordinary pressure, that time seemed both to slip away and yet remain frozen in place. The staff in the neonatal unit are always available to answer your questions and that should help relieve some of your anxiety.
What can I do to help myself?
Other parents have said that the following tips have been of use to them:
- Understand your reactions so you know that what you are experiencing is normal.
- Talk to someone: your partner, family members, clergy, a doctor, nurse or another parent. Seek information about your baby and his or her problems. Ask lots of questions and try to understand as much as possible about your baby.
- Get involved in the care of your infant as much as possible.
- Appreciate that having a premature, ill baby is likely to be one of the biggest life stresses that you will encounter. Don't hesitate to get professional help or counselling if you feel that you might need it.
- Ask for a weekly chat with the Consultant who is looking after your baby.
- Have someone with you who will keep a "cool head" and help interpret and remember the information that the doctor may give you.
- Make a list of questions - don't worry if you think they are daft.
- Try and form a routine for visiting – this will make things easier if there are older children at home who need to know when you’ll be there for them.
- Rest as much as possible: you need it as you are going through an emotional time.
- Visiting your baby can be exhausting due to the warmth of the Neonatal Unit. Wear light, comfortable clothing.
- Try and be patient: your child is in safe hands and receiving the best possible care.
For more information visit our Frequently Asked Questions section or Resources section.
