Having a premature, ill or disabled baby can be an extremely distressing experience for a parent. At TinyLife we have a wealth of experience in helping parents and families to cope with this situation, and a deep understanding of what you may be going through.
Our Family Support Team have put together some of the questions which come up time and again for people experiencing what you are going through. As with so many other difficult experiences in life, it is, we believe, always a comfort to know that others have been there before you and have found ways of coping.
Q: My baby was very premature, and I’m worried that I did something wrong during my pregnancy. Why are babies born prematurely?
In most cases, premature birth happens without warning and without an obvious medical explanation. A mum who has had a normal pregnancy and received good antenatal care may still give birth prematurely. There is absolutely nothing she will have done to cause her baby to be born prematurely.
Sometimes premature birth happens because of medical conditions during pregnancy, such as kidney disease, problems with the uterus, prenatal complications like pre-eclampsia (pregnancy related high blood pressure)or an infection of the uterus.
Three things however which are within a woman’s control during pregnancy and that do increase the risk of a premature birth are:
Smoking – slows placenta growth and can lead to an early birth.
Drug abuse – can lead to many complications in pregnancy, including premature birth.
Lack of adequate prenatal care – good prenatal care can identify complications which, if treated early, can prevent an early birth.
Q: I wanted to breastfeed my baby but because she came so early, she’s being tube-fed. Will I ever be able to breastfeed her?
Your baby’s age and medical situation will affect when you will be able to breastfeed her. Babies do not generally develop the physical ability to suck and swallow efficiently until around 32 to 34 weeks.
The age and stage at which a premature baby will be ready to breastfeed is a case-by-case decision. Each neonatal unit will have its own criteria for making such a decision, so talk to the doctors and nurses in the unit.
In the meantime, keep on expressing your breast milk using an electric breast pump, and try to concentrate on the fact that your baby is getting the best nutrition you can give them even if they are not able to breastfeed directly yet.
Q: My premature baby has reflux and feeding is really difficult for her – she is obviously in pain and she vomits during every feed. What should I do?
If your baby’s reflux has been diagnosed, then no doubt you have already been given advice from the healthcare professionals involved. You may be using a specialised formula for her feeds or adding thickeners. Your baby may also be on medication.
Here are some other things that you can also try:
- Try feeding her smaller amounts more often, e.g. feed her half as much twice as often
- Keep her upright and quiet after a feed for at least 45 minutes.
- Wind her more often.
- Find a reflux-friendly sleeping position for your baby – consult your doctor about this.
Keep a diary – your observations are very important for your baby’s reflux treatment. Try to focus on what is happening and when, without making your own judgements. For example, rather than saying that the formula doesn’t agree with her, tell the doctor exactly what your baby does when she is being fed. Note what works and when, and what doesn’t work at all.
If you are really very concerned, do not be afraid to voice those concerns to the relevant consultant or doctor. If your next appointment is not due for some time, ask as firmly as you can for an earlier appointment.
Q: Will my premature baby “catch up” with other babies his (uncorrected) age – and if so, when?
All babies develop at their own unique pace, but you can expect your baby to meet his developmental milestones in relation to his gestational age. Your doctor and health visitor will refer to this as his corrected age (i.e. corrected to allow for prematurity). For example, if your baby is four months old but was born two months early, then his development will be similar to that of a two-month-old full-term baby.
Your baby will be considered as having caught up with his full-term peers by two years of age. However, try not to get too hung up on what he ‘should be doing.’ Try to just enjoy his development from month to month. Observe him closely and keep a record of his achievements so that you can share this with health professionals when he has a check- up.
If you are concerned about your child’s development, talk to your paediatrician.
Q: My first baby was very premature. I want to have another baby but I’m really afraid it’s going to happen again. How likely is it that my next baby will be premature?
Women who have given birth prematurely are at risk of having a premature birth when they become pregnant again. However, just because you are at risk of premature birth doesn’t mean that you will give birth prematurely.
During your next pregnancy, since you are considered at risk of premature birth, you will be very closely monitored and observed so that any signs that the baby may come early will be picked up and dealt with as soon as possible. This will mean that you will have all the support and reassurance that you need during your pregnancy to ensure that it is as positive an experience as possible for you.
